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Making the decision to consult with a sex therapist is a difficult one for anybody.  People would want to be sure that the therapist wouldn’t judge them for their sexual likes or dislikes, nor be disparaging or dismissive of their sexual problems.  In essence, almost everyone needs to find a therapist with whom they can feel safe, understood, and who can help them. For gay men, the choice…

Sexual tastes and appetites vary enormously from person to person, just as tastes in foods do. Someone might love for example the flavorful and intricately spiced foods of Southeast Asia, while their partner might be happier with the relatively unseasoned foods of Northern Europe. Sexual appetites are not much different and a common concern when two people meet is that they fear that they are “sexually incompatible” because…

Don’t let this happen to you! My friend and neighbor Jimmy rang my bell some time back and was in tears. His wife, and mother of his children had just told him that she wanted to separate. He was shocked because he hadn’t imagined that she was so unhappy in the marriage. “Baby”, he said, “What’s wrong? Whatever it is I’m sure we can work it out. I’ll ask…

The level of sexual desire, or how much sex one you want, is influenced by any numbers of factors. These could include stress, how one feels towards one’s partner at a given moment, physical wellbeing, age, as well as drugs and medicines. But just like everything else in life, there is tremendous variety between people in how much or how little they desire sex. For some people very…

Why Straight Rural Men Have Gay “Bud-Sex” With Each Other is the title of Jesse Singal’s article on sexuality in this week’s (Dec. 18, 2016) New York Magazine. In it she describes the work of the University of Oregon’s sociology doctoral student Tony Silva who looked at rural white men who identify as “straight” and have sex with other men, in his paper Gender & Society. The subjects…

Feeling depressed? You are far from alone. In fact, depression is so common that mental health professionals often refer to it as “the common cold” of mental disorders. According to data released by the National Institute of Mental Health in 2012, it is estimated that roughly 16 million Americans have had at least one major depressive episode that year. That’s 6.9% of the population! And according to the…

Psychotherapy had unfortunately earned a bad reputation decades ago when the prevailing view in the field was that the only form of “healthy’ sexual activity was penetrative sexual intercourse between a man and a women.  Any deviation from this was considered an expression of psychopathology and carried such derogatory labels as “perversions.”  Indeed it wasn’t until 1973 that the American Psychiatric Association would even allow for the fact…

All couples who have a physically intimate relationship are likely to experience peaks and troughs in their sex lives. Like other aspects of any relationship which ebb and flow, this may not be a serious concern. But when sexual issues begin to negatively impact the relationship, it may be time to consult with a licensed psychologist who is also certified as sex therapist. Left unattended to, these issues…

The Short Version:  Dr. Eli Mayer faced discrimination as the first openly gay doctoral student in his graduate program. But after he graduated and started his practice, the AIDS crisis hit, and many of his gay patients in New York City appreciated that he could relate to them. Initially, Dr. Mayer focused on traditional psychotherapy, but after studying sexuality, he became a certified sex therapist. Today, his patients, who are…